SCripty Dipty 2016
Lark: A young "roach-rat" living in the desolate environment of future Earth. Lark has learned to live among conditions that most organisms could not tolerate. With the help of his hitch-hiking parasitic friend Chark, Lark seeks to save the planet through a time portal he discovered at the edge of town. He believes that by recycling trash from the future and changing it into useful material in the past, he can prevent the environmental apocalypse from ever happening.
Chark: A parasitic mite that lives on the back of Lark. He uses his digestive system as a recycling device used to create useful material from trash. He is a lot less altruistic than Lark, and only agrees to help Lark in his quest because he misses the taste of fresh dead skin.
President Korr Upted: A powerful politician in the United Powers of the past. He does not believe in climate change, and falsely tells the people that there is no need to worry about the environment. He supports big oil companies and other environmentally disruptive endeavors.
Ghost Disser Upted: The shadow of the politician who regrets everything. He holds an important secret-but he only gives it to Lark and Chark if they help him.
The Time Thief: A mysterious time-traveler who, for some reason, is telling the tale of Lark and Chark.
Asst. Ekwi Vokle: Korr Upted's timid assistant who is unsure about the safety or practicality of his plans, but goes on with them anyway. He serves as comic relief.
OFFICIAL SCRIPT 2016
[START PERFORMANCE]
[ACTION: Begin Timer]
Time Thief: Time. We claim that we need more of it, yet we waste it everyday. But what if we could go back, and reuse that wasted time? I invite you to join me and my friends, Lark and Chark, as they experience this very phenomenon. Welcome to 23d century Earth, a desolate wasteland ever since the environmental apocalypse. Only the hardiest organisms can survive here...
Chark: Hmm...explosives, shimplosives! Looks like good eatin' to me!
[ACTION: Picks up bombshell]
Lark: Oh, will you drop that ol' nuke, you parasite!
Chark: AHEM! I prefer the term symbiotic companion.
Lark: (ignoring Chark) There's enough bombs here to fill the Pacific Ocean! If it still existed...back when our crab and lobster ancestors ruled the great, big, blue, and the world was filled with life and-
Chark: Yo, Lark! What did I tell you about going off on a tangent? You've been doing it a lot lately. Come on, we can survive out here! With my powerful digestive system and your incredible speed, we can recycle any trash into food! I mean, it's not like we can go back in time and prevent the environmental apocalypse from ever happening!
Time Thief: Little did Chark know, that that would be exactly what they were going to do! For what Lark and Chark didn't know was that they had stumbled upon a warp, a hole in the time-space continuum! And they were about to embark on the adventure of their lives...
[ACTION: Time Thief places Time Warp in front of Lark and Chark]
Lark: Hey, what's that swirly thing in front of us?
Chark: Hey, if it isn't edible, it doesn't interest me!
Lark: We're getting sucked in!!!
[ACTION: Move into Time Portal]
[Lark and Chark scream in unison as vehicle moves through portal]
Lark: What's happening to your bomb?
Chark: Well, there goes the ka-boomb!
[ACTION: Removes explosives]
Chark: The energy from the warp has transformed the bomb into a...an empty shell!
[ACTION: Move out of Time Warp into Past Ecosystem]
Lark: (groans) Uh...where are we?
Chark: AHHH!!!
Lark: What?
Chark: The grass-it's GREEN!!!
Lark: AH! The WATER-it's BLUE!!!
[Lark and Chark scream in unison]
Lark: Do you know what this means? We're in the past! And more importantly, BEFORE the destruction of the ocean ever happened! If we can find something they need now-something from the future-and recycle it into something useful...why, we could STOP the apocalypse from ever happening!
Chark: Huh...a 'nice' idea...but how, exactly, are you going to implement it?
Lark: Look, that crab! It looks like it needs in help.
Chark: Help? That crab is practically dying! His shell more cracked than the paint on this bombshell!
Lark: It's the acid rain-all the nitrous oxide and sulfuric gases in the atmosphere are slowly making the ocean acidic. But that bombshell...look, we can still save him!
[ACTION: Picks up crab and deposits bombshell on crab]
Lark: The bombshell is completely acid-resistant, right? With his new shell, the crab will be able to survive! Maybe he'll spread his knowledge about bomb-shells throughout the crab race! Our species is secured!
Chark: Ya, but we still need to bring something from the past back to our home in the-well I guess-the 'future'! Something that can change our environment for the better...Hey! Look over there! It's a couple of..a COUPLE OF HUMANS!
Lark: Humans? You mean the one's responsible for this mess?
Korr Rupted: And that's why, I believe the Saltwater Toxin-Resistant Horshoe Rat is in no need of saving! It's simply too expensive! What our country needs is JOBS! And that's why YOU vote for Korr Rupted-the most trustworthy man alive! (cheesy smile)
Reporter Ekwi Vokle: Umm...But sir, isn't the-isn't the Horshoe Rat a very ecologically important species, I mean-
Korr Rupted: Phooey, Mr. Ekwi Vokle, is all I say. All it is is genetic garbage in the way of progress!
Chark: Genetic garbage, eh? Sounds like just the thing for me!
[ACTION: Picks up DNA strand]
Lark: Quick! Let's go back through the time warp!
[ACTION: Goes back through time warp]
[ACTION: Korr Rupted goes back behind middle backdrop and changed costume]
Chark: I remember this DNA stuff from back when the scientists were doing tests on me. I DON'T think it's supposed to just twist like a pretzel the way that strand is...
Lark: The nucleotide arrangement is changing to fit our genetic structure! With it's inherent toxin-resistance, perhaps it will make our species toxin-resistant too!
[ACTION: Arrives back in future]
Chark: Ah, I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
Lark: And a toxin-resistant gene, too! Here-let's deposit it into a fellow lobbacrab!
[ACTION: Deposits in fellow lobbacrab]
Lark: We'll replicate that gene and integrate into every lobbacrab around! There will be no more death, starvation, or sickness caused by toxic chemicals!
Chark: Keep dreaming. If we REALLY want to save the world, we're going to have to save more than just lobbacrabs... *cough* tube worms *cough* (Jashan cheesily smiles and points to self)
Lark: The corals! They are growing brittle because of ocean acidification. The warp will surely change that scrap metal into useful support structures for the coral!
[ACTION: Picks up scrap metal]
[ACTION Diss Rupted Appears from behind middle backdrop]
Disser Rupted: W-wait!!!
Chark: (screams) What kind of weed, growth, or parasite do you make yourself out to be?
Disser Rupted: I am the great and wondrous DISSER RUPTED!!!
Lark: Like that human back in the past, Korr Rupted?
Disser Rupted: I was once known by that name...but now I am fading...just a ghost in the wind...
Chark: C'mon, Lark! Let's go back to the past. No need to listen to this old spirit! Probably ruined us all anyway!
Disser Rupted: Please, I beg you, please listen to me... I know you have no reason to, but I must spread my message before I fade into the wind...
Lark: I think we should listen to him, Chark.
Disser Rupted: Please...
Chark:(sigh) Fair enough.
Disser Rupted: I regret my actions. You must save my race, the humans. When you go back in time, give Ekwi this letter...it will tell him the truth about the future...
[ACTION: Hands letter to Jashan, who puts in pocket]
[ACTION: Disappears behind backdrop]
Chark: Humans? They're the ones who caused this mess! Why should we save them?
Lark: We should try.
[ACTION: Goes into Time Portal]
[ACTION: Scrap Metal is bent into wire-frame shape]
[ACTION: Goes into Past Ecosystem]
Chark: Look! That poor coral is suffering coral bleach! Let's help him out.
Time Thief: So, without further hesitations, the duo quickly inserted the metal support onto the coral!
[ACTION: Add support onto coral, causing coral to spread out branches in glee]
Time Thief: But their mission wasn't quite yet complete...
Chark: Let me give that ol' busybody Ekwi Vokle his message...
[ACTION: Jashan drops off message]
[ACTION: Vehicle crawls away]
[ACTION: Ekwi picks up message]
Ekwi: Who left this? (opens up message and begins reading) Oh dear! From the future... End of the world? Only I can save it? Tell others the truth...(closes letter and looks up) I know what to do.
Time Thief: And so, this great tale of Lark and Chark comes to an end. Oh yes, they would go on several more journeys through time with a little (laugh) intervention, by yours truly. But the more important lesson to be learned is what humans can do today. Perhaps they cannot travel into the past, but we can take advantage of our present, making the best choices for life and the Earth as a whole. Perhaps then, we can change our futures for the better. Don't let time pass you BYE!
[ACTION: BYE sign lifted in to the air]
[ACTION: STOP TIMER]
[END PERFORMANCE]
Lark and Chark are suffering from the environmental apocalypse. They wish for a way to fix all of the damage, and eventually stumble upon a time portal. The duo see a nearby missile. They transform it, and then travel to the other side to see a world of prosperity. They find an ocean, where humans around them are dumping trash into the ocean (Korr Upted and Ekwi Vokle). A small crab is suffering, and they give the shell to him. Korr Upted then gives a speech about how climate change isn't real. Lark and Chark take the second object from the past to the future. They meet Disser Upted there, and perform an act of kindness. Next, Lark and Chark find a dying animal, and take a DNA strand from the dead body. They rearrange the DNA, go to the future, and give it to Korr Upted. The change in his body helps him realize that he needs to prevent the apocalypse. Upon traveling back to the future, Lark and Chark find a thriving world.