2013-2014 Script
Characters
Capt. C. Sick, Navy Captain (Valmic)- The narrator of this tale
- ***Captain's hat made of card stock by hand
- White uniform with merit badges, moustache and beard
- Navy cane
- Antiquated OJ bottle
Cadet C. O' Sean, Crust O'Sean (Jashan) - The Crab, Driving Test Taker
- ***Crab eye mask
- Rusty Red shirt and trousers
Cadet T. R. Monger. T. Rash Monger (Samrit) - The Human, Driving Test Taker
- Liquid Oxygen Helmet (white)
-
white (tight) divers suit like. Tight white pant and tight white turtle neck, white shoes, white gloves
*** Exxon oil spill sticking all over
Sergeant Whereami (Arnav/Romo)- GPS driver test examiner and location teller
- White t-shirt, decorated, with sign - GPS
Nailin- Desmond Vower's friend from Wall Strait
Cadet D. Vower (Rishab), The Shark, The loan shark from wall strait opportunist to which Monger owes
- *** Shark Mask
- White inner T-Shirt, with (shark) grey outer shirt and grey sweat pant
Miss. Leed, Mermaid, Shows signs to sailors lost under water
- Silver (flowing) gown or tights suitable for dancing
- ***Googly eyes like seal's ( sun goggles ?)
- Flashy Silvery top ?
- May be carrying and playing a recorder
Capt. C. Sick, Navy Captain (Valmic)- The narrator of this tale
- ***Captain's hat made of card stock by hand
- White uniform with merit badges, moustache and beard
- Navy cane
- Antiquated OJ bottle
Cadet C. O' Sean, Crust O'Sean (Jashan) - The Crab, Driving Test Taker
- ***Crab eye mask
- Rusty Red shirt and trousers
Cadet T. R. Monger. T. Rash Monger (Samrit) - The Human, Driving Test Taker
- Liquid Oxygen Helmet (white)
-
white (tight) divers suit like. Tight white pant and tight white turtle neck, white shoes, white gloves
*** Exxon oil spill sticking all over
Sergeant Whereami (Arnav/Romo)- GPS driver test examiner and location teller
- White t-shirt, decorated, with sign - GPS
Nailin- Desmond Vower's friend from Wall Strait
Cadet D. Vower (Rishab), The Shark, The loan shark from wall strait opportunist to which Monger owes
- *** Shark Mask
- White inner T-Shirt, with (shark) grey outer shirt and grey sweat pant
Miss. Leed, Mermaid, Shows signs to sailors lost under water
- Silver (flowing) gown or tights suitable for dancing
- ***Googly eyes like seal's ( sun goggles ?)
- Flashy Silvery top ?
- May be carrying and playing a recorder
SCripty Dipty @)!$ HUh..........................
Start ...
[Time- 0:00 min]
[ACTION: Set up]
- Deepti brings vehicle
- Membership sign brought by Rishab
- Jellyfish brought by Deepti
- Squid brought by Deepti
- Whale brought by Deepti
- Coral Rocks brought Jashan Rishab
-Jashan makes sure that the bubbles have soap and are turned on
- Arnav sets up the hideout. Ready to move Romo.
- Samrit brings Directional signs
- Others bring in membership sign, the covered vehicle, set up the props and get into the vehicle
- At the tail end of setup Deepti exposes the vehicle
- Valmic sets the Sailor's dock backdrop, goes to Arnav's Hideout and starts the narration ASAP
C. Sick: I, Captain C. Sick bring you a tale from a distant future. After polluting the earth to its core, ... the human species is at a brink of extinction. Survivors have mutated and evolved to co-exist with ... trash, ... toxins, ... mortgage debts and ... even the loan sharks!
(prepares to point at roster)
C. Sick: On this refreshingly smoggy day, ... off the Monterey bay, in the depths of ... the Acidic Ocean, two ocean cadets are getting ready to take their Glubmarine driving test. Here is the rooster ... oops, excuse me roster for the day ... (pointing to the chart ) (looks at watch) I believe its a time to go underwater!
[ACTION: Places backdrop behind vehicle]
[Time- 1:00]
[ACTION: Valmic changes the backdrop to Ocean Wonderland]
[ACTION: Samrit turns on bubble machines IMMEDIATELY]
[ACTION: Samrit goes to front first shows 'Start Test' sign.
T.Rash Monger: I am T.Rash Monger your signal inspector. Cadets D. Vower and Crust O' Sean, your test begins NOW!
Miss Leeds: I am Miss Leeds, also an inspector. To begin, cadets, reverse the vehicle out of the Coral garage and stop at the flashing jellyfish!
[ACTION: Samrit show "Reverse" sign]
C.Sick: Ooh! I think I feel a tune-a fish coming on...
[ACTION: Song and dance starts. Jashan is playing the saxophone ]
I like our oceans
(saxophone)
Oh ... I like our oceans
(saxophone)
I like to trash them
(saxophone)
Oh ... I like to trash them
(saxophone)
(chorus ... )
I need no kitchen sink
or care for oil spills
It's a nuclear dump for you and meeeeeee!
[ACTION: The song stops]
FILLER
C. Sick: A RED FLASHING JELLYFISH. I wonder what that means?
[ It is ok, to stop the vehicle a little earlier ]
[ ACTION: Vehicle breaks and engines stop SUDDENLY! ]
O'Sean: A- angry Jellyfish?(murmurs) I- I know it means ... STOP!
C. Sick: Here are the signal inspectors: Miss Leads the mermaid and T. Rash Monger the LAST human! The only reason he survived was because he had a perfectly balanced yin and yang.[ Watch the time!!!]
[ Action: Vehicle is positioned to face the audience, i.e. forward, before any conversation ... ]
[Time- 2:00]
[ACTION: Samrit shows forward sign, Vehicle starts moving forward]
Miss Leads: Time to move forward.
GPS: I am your GPS, but call me MASTER because today I am also your examiner. Where do you want to go?
D. Vower: Yo (sarcastically, all cool like)MASTER, let's plot course to Sand Hill!
C.Sick: You are wondering about the GPS Whereami there? Keep in mind, robots have become liberated from slavery, animals have grown smarter than humans, and imagine even plants are fighting for equal rights!
[Action: Romo generally, looking at the audience, turning left and right from time to time ]
GPS: Watch out! There is a sign ahead.
[ACTION: Vehicle moves up to the audience, stopping at the Barracuda sign]
Miss Leeds: You all did well in your first part of the test. Congratulations!
C. Sick: Desmond Vower, the Loan Shark and Crust O' Sean, the crabby crab, were of very different attitudes. D.Vower had the CURRENT idea- to go with the FLOW- while Crust O' Sean... was a hyperventilating shipwreck!
[Time- 3:00]
C. Sick: Barracuda, standing still in the ocean. I wonder what that means?
Loan Shark: Oh, a barracuda! It means we need to "go sideways". Let's move in the direction the barracuda is pointing.
[ Vehicle moves sideways slowly... Romo is facing the audience, changing expressions and directions ]
C. Sick: The Glubmarine is an underwater vehicle is built entirely out from trash left over by humans, including PVCs trashed by OMers from as long back as 2011 and 2013. It is powered by nuclear waste dumped in the oceans. It the most popular vehicle for well... wasting time.
C.Sick: Meanwhile Cadet D. Vower was taking the test to get a Glubmarine and drive to his client's houses! This way their souls- excuse me loans could be re-paid. Crust O' Sean was taking the Glubmarine test because his SHELLFISH mother would kick him out of the shell if he didn't get his license by the time he was 35!
[ACTION: Vehicle stops]
[ Engines OFF ]
[Time- 4:30]
C.Sick: Now for the most difficult part of the test
[ACTION: Samrit raises signal - split and join]
[ACTION: Samrit turns OFF the bubbles ]
GPS: We are 20 miles off the Monterey bay and 100 yards from a blue whale moving north. Now you have to get through those coral rocks ...
[ vehicles start moving ... ]
C. Sick: You may be wondering how the GPS knew the location of a moving whale. Many years back those scientists from Monterey bay GPS tagged every large mammal left in the ocean. Can you believe it! All five of them!!
C.Sick: The duo entered a very corally part o' town, filled with decorative trash bags, pretty banana peels, and archaic fried rice take-out boxes!
(task 3)
[ The vehicle is aligned between the coral rocks ]
[Action: The vehicle is reconfigured and they get through the coral rocks]
C. Sick: Using the Glubmarine's ability to reconfigure, the test-takers succeed in getting through the coral rocks! Barely... It was a FLUKE they were able to make it to the other TIDE!
[Time- 5:30]
Miss Leeds: Your doing just fine guys! But here is the last test. You have to swirl around with the anchovies. Do the ... Donut!
[ Samrit shows the Task 3 sign - Donut ]
Fix whale
[Valmic removes backdrops from the back, ready for Samrit to turn]
[Valmic gets ready next to membership sign]
C. Sick: They swirled around in circles with no apparent purpose! It was so fun!! They FINished the test in flying colors! Or should I say, flying CORALS!
[ACTION: T.Rash, Miss Leed, and GPS pretend to discuss results]
Miss Leeds: (looks at Whereami, as if silently discussing) You two passed the test. CONGRATULATIONS! (clap, clap)
[ACTION: Samrit Shows Test Passed Sign]
[ACTION: O'Sean and Vower both JUMP out of the vehicle and cheer wildly like monkeys]
[ACTION: Valmic begins turning backdrop as D.Vower explains]
D. Vower: Let me take you guys to my cousin, over that Sand Hill.
O'Sean: W-well... h-here w-we g-go!
[ACTION: Driver's move vehicle in front of backdrop as Samrit changes it]
[ACTION: Valmic switches backdrop. Arnav comes forward]
[Conversation should move fast, but loud]
[Time- 6:00]
[Nailin appears, begins talking while walking]
Nailin: Hey, cousin Desmond from Wall Strait! What is that rusty red fella? (SNICKER, SNICKER).
O' Sean: I-I am C-crust O'Sean fr-from Dungenous. (cowers in fear)
Nailin: How yummy to meet you! (gets close and laughs deviously, pretending to eat- SHOULD NOT GO SLOW)
O'Sean: AHHHH!!!(screams like a little girl falls off and picks sax)
Nailin: Holy SEA TURDLE! Lemme test this babe out!
[Time- 6:30 mins ]
[Action: The two sharks start doing tricks from their vehicles ]
C.Sick: Just like that, the intimidating cousin of Desmond, Nailin Vower, drove Crust O'Sean away! The duo of sharks began an ancient loan shark business ritual. Look at all their fancy Glubmarine tricks!!! True enough Nailin had a scary "AURA" around him. Personally, I think it was because of his gym socks from Davy Jones's locker! Yuck! The Loan Shark and his venture capitalist cousin, Nailin, were having a SPLASH of a time!
(saxophone)
We sharks bite when anything moves
(saxophone)
trash or carcass, on the loose
(saxophone)
We make rules while humans drool
(saxophone)
banking, stocks and money control
(saxophone)
[if there is time, repeat song]
[ Action: Valmic keeps a watch on the timer, is ready to point to bottom membership sign]
[Action: Samrit gets into vehicle for the last 30 secs]
[ Time- 7:30 ]
C. Sick: What a finale! (pauses, so everyone quiets down)
[Action: Engines stop and everybody is quiet]
T.Rash Monger: GET OUT delinquents! The vehicle has to be put back in the garage!
C.Sick: The the sharks and the crabs built a Glubmarine theme park and lived happily ever after!
As usual, the humans were as miserable as ever. I am sure you do not want to end up in our world, so please ... leave no trash behind and clap your hands! THE END!
[ACTION: Jashan holds the End sign]
(End of Script)
(Time- 8:00)